The Hangover (Part One)
by MalfoyHatfieldMcCoyWinchester
Summary: Doug's twin sister, Sam, is exactly two minutes younger, yet constantly over-ruling him with sibling knowledge and girl knowledge. She gets invited to join the Las Vegas Bachelor Party. Phil isn't sure but Doug says yes. What will happen when Doug goes missing? Sam figures a few things out and they find clues, but in good time, old feelings re-surface.
1. Chapter One

/That's Samantha /

"Hey, this is Doug, sorry I'm not here right now. If you could leave your name, number and a brief message, I'll get back to you."

"Hey, this is Phil. Leave me a message, or don't- but do me a favor, don't text me, it's gay."

"Hello, you've reached Dr. Stuart Price Divine Dentistry, sorry I can't pick up the phone…"

"Bonjour! This is Sam. Sorry, I can't come to the phone right now. Please leave your name and number and a brief voicemail. I'll call you when I can."

-

"Hello?"

"Tracy. It's Phil."

"Phil, where the hell are you guys?"

"We fucked up." Phil said.

"What do you mean?"

" The whole bachelor party, it got out of control." he paused. "We can't find Doug."

"What do you mean you can't find him?" Tracy spit out.

"He's missing."

"Phil, we are get married in five hours!"

Phil sighed and swallowed. "Yeah, that's not gonna happen."

-

Before we can get into that, let's rewind it a little. Shall we?

Sam was texting Tracy when she called and they talked for a while.

"Hey, Sam?" She asked.

Samantha was in her room, doing her nails. "Yeah?"

"Would you like to go to the bachelor party, considering you are my best friend? And Maid of Honor?"

"Well technically, I'm not a Bachelor..."

"No. But still." Tracy said.

"I'd love too!"Sam said.

"Awesome. I need someone to watch the boys." Tracy replied.

"So babysitter?"

"Uhm..." Tracy started.

I guess I have a sort of...Privlege." Sam said while laughing.

"That being you are my best friend and Doug's sister. Yes?"

"Indeed." Sam said.

"So, what're you up to?"

"Painting my nails." Sam replied.

"Really?" Tracy asked.

"And watching Supernatural."

"Samantha Addison Danielle Billings! You said you were, and I quote 'So done with that show'." Tracy said matter-of-factly.

Sam sighed. "I know, I know. But Dean and Sam are so awesome. And that guy Andy from the episode 'Simon Said'- Ugh. Amazing."

Tracy chuckled. "I have to go. I need to go finish some plans and a few orders."

Sam nodded to herself. "Okay. Have fun."

"I will. Because writing and signing stuff is 'fun'." Tracy said.

Sam grinned. "Bye Trace."

"Bye Samie."

"Yeah yeah. Bye." Sam said. "Oh, and it is Sam." She said while hanging up.

Tracy laughed at that and turned off her phone, going off to sign things. Sam finished packing and set her bag on the ground. She ran down the stairs, bags with her, Alan and Doug waiting for her. She smiled and walked past them, setting car bags in the car.

Alan and Doug walked out as she got in. "Jesus..." She whispered. "Awesome."

"You and I get to drive. No one else touches it." Doug said as he got in. Alan pointed to the road.

"Let's hit it." He said, getting in and closing his door.

-

Sam looked at a school as they pulled up. "Is he out yet?" Sam asked, looking fot her best friend.

"I dunno..." Said Doug.

"Do you have to park so close?" Alan asked, hand on his head, sliding down the seat. Doug looked back at Sam, and Sam shrugged.

"Yes, why?" questioned Doug, obviously confused. Alan shrunk down more.

"I shouldn't be here. I'm not aloud to be within 200 feet of a school." he began, scratching his beard. Sam's mouth opened and then she closed it.

"What?" asked Doug. He was shocked.

"Or a Chuck'E'Cheese." he finished awkwardly. Sam tried to hide her laughter under her breath, but failed. Doug turned and glared at her.

Fianlly Phil came out. Sam saw him and grinned.

"Mr. Wenneck…" began a kid, following Phil. Phil kept walking, obviously trying to avoid him.

"It's the weekend, Budnick. I don't know you, you don't exist." he said walking up to the car. He looked at it and whistled.

"Damn, nice car. I'm driving." He threw his bag next to Sam and grinned at her. Doug looked at him.

"Uh...No." He said.

Phil rolled his eyes, and hopped in the back. "What's up Samie?" He asked, turning to Sam and moving his sunglasses down slightly.

Sam looked at him. "For one thing, it's Sam. For another, I'm good. Glad I get to go. How are you?" She replied.

"Glad I get to go to Vegas." He said while rubbing his hands together. "Who's this?" he asked, pointing towards Alan. Doug sighed.

"Alan, Tracy's brother." he replied, starting the car up again.

Alan looked back at Phil, "Dude, I've met you like four times."

"Oh yeah. How've you been man?" Phil asked while rubbing the back of his neck.

-  
Now for the final piece, Stuart Price. When they rolled up to the house, after waiting about five seconds, Phil thought it would be good to get his attention.

Cupping his hands on the sides of his mouth, he screamed, "Paging Dr. Douchebag!" Sam laughed as he paused. "Dr. Douchebag Paging Dr. Douchebag!" A few minutes later, Stu came out with the lingering figure of…her. Melissa. The bitch.

"God, I was just covering for you," he began, putting his things into the trunk. He slid into the car and looked at her. "Hey Sam."

Sam waved at him. "Hey oh, Stu."

Stu smiled at Sam and turned towards the car door. Leaning against it and taking notes on something.

Phil and Sam started talking as Doug pulled away, driving down the road.

-—-—

"ROAD TRIP!" screamed Alan, waving his face in the air like a dog. San couldn't help but snicker, then cover her mouth. He looked at a girl in the car next to them. "VEGAS BABY!"

The girl flipped him off, and he sat down.. Sam laughed, then noticed a beer Phil had in his hand. She grinned , stealing the beer out of Phil's hand and taking a sip.

"Oh come on! Let me drive. Everyone's passing us." said Phil, whining slightly. Sam looked at him.

"Quite your whining boy." She said in a thick country accent. (A/N: Cheers to those who read that out loud in a country accent. :) )

"Alan, please explain to them about the car." asked Doug, still eyeing the road.

"My dad loves this car more than he loves me." Alan said. Sam felt her heart drop a little.

"Whatever man! I'm leaving my wife and kid at home to go on this trip!" stated Phil. Sam laughed at his expression.

Alan commented on how sweet it was. "Are you kidding? I fucking hate my life, and I'm going through a divorce. I would stay in Vegas if I could."

"Here we go." muttered Doug. Sam rolled her eyes. Stu rolled his eyes as well, while Alan looked very into a book he was reading.

"Alright, it says here we should work in teams. Who wants to be my spotter?" asked Alan. He was obviously reading about Blackjack.

"Alan, Tracy said no gambling. And plus, it sounds like you want to count cards!" Sam replied, stealing the book from him and looking at the title. Doug nodded.

"Plus it is illegal." He added.

Sam looked at him. "Not exactly illegal more or less frowned upon and you'll get beat up."

"Illegal." Doug said.

Sam crossed her arms. "Alan, I can count cards."

He turned to look at her, as did Stu and Phil, Doug glanced at her in the rear-view mirror. "You can?" They all asked in unison.

Sam nodded. "I used to play invisible cards with my bestie Abbey when I was little. I kept track of the 'cards' as we played. That's how I learned." Sam explained.

Doug shook his head, putting emphasis on the word "Illegal."

Phil rolled his eyes, gesturing towards her. "At least she has a reason."

Alan turned back to look at the road. Doug sighed. "And you have to be smart to do it."

"Well it's not illegal, it's frowned upon. Like Sam said. And plus it's a foul proof system." he retorted, being completely serious. Sam rubbed her forehead.

"Well after nine/eleven, everyone got sensitive. Thanks a lot, Bin Laden." he paused. "And besides, Rain Man basically bank rupt a casino and he was a ruhtard." stated Alan.

"It's retard." Doug corrected

(A/N: I hope it is good. I'm following the script as best as I can.)


	2. Chapter Two

-Sam's Point Of View-

We had to stop for gas…it would be like Doug to not get gas before we left. Alan was filling the car up while we were getting stuff to eat. I got a bottle of wild berry energy drink, blue raspberry gummies and gummy sharks.  
Phil munched on a bag of BBQ Lays while Stu talked to Melissa…THE DEVIL…while looking around for water. Phil was watching Alan yell at an old man.

"What a nice car you've got there." said the man, checking out the car. Alan glared at the old man and shifted his body weight. Moving his hair out of his hair again.

"Don't look at the car. Don't even think about it, you know what? Don't even look at me." he said, shooing the man away. The old man walked away, giving Alan a look of confusion and sighing.

"That's right, walk away. I'm not afraid to hit an old man in public." I shook my head and chuckled at Alan, so confused on how he, a man that looked as if he had ate two frozen turkeys, (A/N: WATCH THE GAG REEL!), could be so threatening to other people.

"He's funny... Is he all there…like mentally?" asked Phil to Doug. Doug gave him a sideways glance.

"Yeah, he is. He's just a little odd. A little weird." replied Doug, throwing something on the counter. I put my energy drink and snacks on the counter.

"Alan can be…interesting at times. I'm just warning you now." I added as I put my stuff down. Phil gave me a look.

"And you would know this?" he asked, scratching his chin. I shrugged.  
"Well, after high school I went to college with Tracy, and we became instant friends. I was also in college with that thing Stu calls his girlfriend. And besides, Trace said we have to watch over him." I replied, slipping him a weak smile. Doug nodded.

"Yep, she said we shouldn't let him gamble or drink to much." stated Doug, throwing us the obvious. Phil sighed.

"Jesus, he's like a gremlin. Comes with instructions and shit." he added, running his left hand through his hair. Stu came and placed a water on the counter.

"And one water." he said, throwing his phone back in his pocket. I glared and rolled my eyes.

"So how's the devil?" I asked, poking his side. He shrugged me off and eyed my with annoyance.

"She thinks we're two hours out of wine country…..and she doesn't exactly know you're here. So, Melissa is good." he said, glaring at me. The cashier, who looked very annoyed, rung up our items. The total price was Thirty Three dollars and fifteen cents. I looked at Stu.

"Thirty three dollars and fifteen cents, you got this man?" asked Phil, grabbing his chips and walking outside. I glared at him and slipped in a twenty for good measure.

_

After so many hour of unwanted driving, we finally made it to Caeser's Palace in Vegas. We walked in, Alan with his…man purse thing…and me with my suitcases. We headed to the front desk to see a lady named Lisa, she was the front desk person I assumed.

"Can I help you?" she asked, obviously slightly annoyed a Alan messed with a pen on the counter.. Stu looked at her and smiled.

"Yes, we have reservations under Dr. Price." he said, trying to impress. I rolled my eyes and sat on my suitcase.

"Let me just get that for you." she replied, scrolling through the database. Phil gave Stu a weird look.

"Dr. Price? Dude, you're a dentist, don't try and get all fancy." Phil turned towards Lisa. "He's a dentist, so if anyone gets hurt, you should call nine-one-one." he replied, looking at the girl. I rolled my eyes.

"I'll be sure to do that. It says that you guys have a two bed room on the eighth floor." she said, looking back up at us. Doug smiled and nodded.

"That should be fine. Right guys?" he asked. Phil shook his head.

"Well if we're sharing beds, I'm bunking with Phil. You cool with that?" asked Alan, giving Phil a serious look. Now he looked slightly uncomfortable.

"No, I'm not cool with that. What are we, twelve?" he began. He looked at Lisa's name tag. "Look, Lisa, do you have any villas available?"

"We have one that is available for forty-two hundred a night." she replied. Phil smiled.

"Is it awesome?" asked Alan, confused. She gave him a 'damn straight' look.

"It's pretty awesome." she replied. She glanced towards me and said. "Is she with you?"

They all nodded. "Yeah." Or "Yes." They replied.

Lisa nodded. "Does it have toilets?" Alan asked (A/N: Also see the gag reel and out-takes to see that, Ed's inability to stop laughing is so funny.), still serious. I face-palmed.

"Yes, it does." she replied, giving him a 'Are You Kidding Me?' glance.

"We'll take it." replied Phil, glancing at Alan to see if he would be anymore random.

"No, you don't have-" began Doug, but I cut in, finally.

"Yes we do. Now come on! This is like, your last night with your buddies. Come, _on_! Live it up!" I said, putting my hands on his shoulders and shaking him roughly. Laughing as he shook his head to straighten out.

"Fine then." he replied while sighing. I smiled a smile of victory. And I looked at Stu, evilly.

"You're the doctor, give her your card." I said, smirking. Stu looked at me and began to freak out.

"What? N-No. Melissa checks my statements." he replied, still freaking out. I laughed.

"Another reason why she's a bitch." I mumbled. Phil heard me and chuckled.

"That's okay. We won't charge you until you check out." said Lisa, obviously done with us. Stu nodded and gave her the credit card. She set it in a little tray and set it aside. Then gave us two key-cards. I took one, Phil the other, and we headed up to our villa.

"Holy Shit! Look at this place!" said Phil, walking in. I came in, last, and looked around.

"Jesus! This place is amazing." I agreed. We looked at each other.

"Alright, pick a room and get ready ladies. Meet out here in thirty minutes, you hear that Samie? Thirty minutes." said Phil. I rolled my eyes and went to the room far off to the right. I set my suitcase on the bed and unzipped it.

In it were: My wonderful Maid Of Honor dress and matching shoes, a few t-shirts, a few pairs of jeans, two pairs of short shorts, a pair of Toms, black heels, biker boots, and mountain boots. Two flannel over-shirts and a black dress that went to my knees. It had two straps. I smiled and pulled it out.

Quickly doing my hair, by just brushing it out and keeping it natural. I put on my dress and stomped my foot at the zipper. I put on my shoes and quickly did my make-up and put on some jewellery.

I heard Phil yell. "Two minutes!" I looked at my zipper and growled.

"Philip!" I shouted.

He walked in and looked at me. "Samantha."

"Can you please zip me up?" I asked.

He nodded, moving my hair out of the way and zipped it up. "There." He started to walk out and turned to me. "You look gorgeous." Then he smiled and walked out.

I blushed and walked out, joining the others.I noticed how hot I looked in it. Feeling everything was good, I walked to Stu's room and leaned against the open door frame.

Stu was talking to the it on the phone in his boxer briefs, while Phil was lounged on his bed and Doug was standing near the door. When I came into view, Phil smirked towards me.

Still leaned against the wall. He smirked even more then turned his attention to Stu who asked for it. Doug grinned. "You look amazing." He said.

I smiled. "Thanks Dougie. Uh...Where's Alan?" I asked, looking around to look for the weirdo.

"He's out to get some things." replied Doug, putting emphasis on the word 'things'. I laughed and shook my head. Ah, that weirdo.

"Good, because I have to show you something." he replied, doing a few awkward poses with each word. He pulled out something I recognized to be a ring box. Oh please, no.

"What is that?" growled. Phil looked like he was about to hit Stu, who gave him a 'duh' look.

"What do you think it is?" asked Stu, waiting for his reply. I rolled my eyes.

"It's a fucking mistake." replied Phil. I nodded in agreement.

"You're gonna marry that thing?"


	3. Chapter Three

"She did screw a waiter." Phil stated. Doug hit him playfully on the foot, grabbing his attention.

"It wasn't a waiter, it was a bartender. You know that." Doug added halfheartedly.

"I'm going to propose at your wedding." said Stu, talking to Doug and completely ignoring Phil and I. We glanced at each other.

"Well, congrats man!" said Doug, smiling at Stu. He nodded and looked at me and Phil.

"Isn't that your grandma's holocaust ring?" I asked, glancing at piece of jewelry. He nodded.

"She's not worth it." Phil nodded.

"Hey guys, are you ready to let the dogs out?" asked Alan, completely out of nowhere. He made me jump slightly and I looked back at him to see his hand on his hip as he blew his hair out of his face. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"What?" asked Phil, confused. Alan gave him another serious look. I glanced at him.

"You know, who let the dogs out, hoo, hoo hoo, hoo." sang Alan, dancing a little. He looked like he had to go to the restroom. I gave Doug an amused look.

"Yes Alan, we're ready to let the dogs out."

-

We were waiting for the elevator to come, and when it dinged I saw an interesting sight. A man, who looked like a pimp, or a very bad gym wear model, was starring down at his girlfriends crotch, who had a hooker like look to her. I mentally puked.

"We're going up." said the pimp in a fake sounding but real accented voice. Phil smiled.

"Perfect, so are we." he said, grabbing my arm and pulling me into the elevator. Everyone else walked in.

The pimp dude was staring at me, I noticed and obviously so did Phil, because he slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me into his side. I rolled my eyes and rested my head near his shoulder like I used to when we watched movies together as teenagers.

When we finally got up to where we needed to be, which I would say is on the roof, we admired the view. Vegas looks beautiful from up here. Alan was fiddling with something, and turned around with a bottle of Jaegermeister. I smiled.

"Oh, a little Jagermeister action." said Doug, grabbing one of the shot glasses Alan had. We all grabbed one too.

"I would like to make a toast to Tracy and Doug. May this night be a small bump on the way of a long healthy marriage." said Stu, bring his glass to the middle. I followed and brought my glass to his, as did everyone else. We downed the drinks, and I coughed.

"Holy shit." I mumbled.

"Let's go get-" began Phil, but was cut off by Alan.

"I would-I'd like to say some words I've prepared for this night." interrupted Alan, looking at all of us. We nodded.

"How bout that ride in. I guess that's why they call it sin city. Ha ha ha. You guys might not know this but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one man wolfpack.

Then Tracy introduced to me her buddy in college, Sam, Doug's twin, and she joined my wolfpack, being a wolf...A wolfette. But when my sister brought Doug home I knew he was one of my own. And my wolfpack, it grew by one. So there were three of us in the wolfpack. I was alone first in the pack and then Doug and Sam, the twins, joined in later.

And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys I thought, 'Wait a second, could it be?' And now I know for sure that I just added two guys to my wolfpack. Five of us wolves, running around the desert together in Las Vegas looking for strippers and drugs. So tonight, I make a toast." he said, pulling out a knife. My eyes went wide as he cut himself. Stu had a freak attack.

"What is he doing?" asked the freaked dentist. I tried to piece together everything in my mind. I covered my mouth.

"Jesus Alan!" I shouted

"Blood brothers...and sister." said Alan simply, giving us another of his serious glances. I widened my eyes.

"Here." He tried handing the knife to Stu.

"I am not doing that." he replied. "Make him stop."

Doug sighed, "Alright, hand the knife over. Slowly. Thank you." He took the knife from Alan and chucked it away from us and we heard it scarp the rooftop.

"Is he okay?" asked Phil. Doug nodded.

"He's fine." Doug replied.

"Are you alright?" asked Phil to Alan, he nodded his head. "Alright then. Come here buddy." he said motioning for him to come into our little group huddle.

"Come here crazy." added Stu, no longer having an episode but still eyeing Alan.

"To a night we will never remember, but never forget." said Phil, toasting again. We refilled and downed the drinks, ready to get on our crazy night. I slowly felt myself slipping away as we downed more shots.

"To Vegas!" I toasted and the others cheered, downing their shots before I completely slipped away.


	4. Chapter Four

-Sam's Point Of View-

It was morning, the sun was shining in making me wake up. I was laying on the ground. My head all fuzzy about what happened last night. Opening my eyes, I looked around the room. Holy Shit, it was messed up. Not to mention everything, and I mean everything even the lady parts, hurt. I had a few hickeys and bruises around my chest and collarbone.

There was a smoking chair, and behind it the indoor spa was filled with bubbles, beach balls, and an inflatable doll. Near it was a huge, and I mean freaking huge, house of cards, a pyramid of beer cans and a few beer bottles set up like bowling pins. It looked like my handy work. I turned my head to the wall and saw that

"Samie Was Here" was written on it in red and black spray paint. This place is messed up. I thought.

I looked around to look where my accomplices in all this were. Alan was, well nowhere to be seen at the moment.

Phil was snuggled up on the floor near the bathroom, with a blanket wrapped carelessly around him. I noticed a few condom wrappers next to Phil. Oh Shit! And the funny thing was, I was really close to him. Stu was laying on the floor, dry blood on the floor near his mouth and a chicken. I scratched my head and got up, feeling tipsy on my feet. I looked down at what I was wearing: my black undergarments and my dress was thrown on the ground.

Deciding I felt dirty, I got up and wondered into my room and I decided to take a shower, and to try and remember. But before, I looked in the mirror. Hickeys and bite marks went down my neck and almost to my back. I took a pretty long shower, and the guys still weren't up. Morons. But unfortunately for me, I still couldn't remember. Not feeling like your hungover is good though.

I slipped on my essentials, bra and underwear. I could not see the extent of my damage, but I didn't notice anything extreme; I was still loopy. Then my I put on my white v-neck and skinny jeans. Slipping Phil's shirt over my own, I trudged back outside and sat on the couch. Stu was now up and awake, looking totally groggy. He didn't notice me.

Alan finally woke, and he tripped over everything, and when I say everything, I mean everything. He dragged his feet into the other bathroom. I looked at a Monster on the table and took it, taking a sip. It tasted so good in my dry throat.

Screaming about a tiger, Alan ran out of the bathroom and tripped over Phil. He kept pointing towards the bathroom screaming.

"Control yourself man! God Damn would you put on some pants?" groaned Phil, clutching his stomach, a toned stomach I might add. I chuckled as Phil got up, totally out of it.

"There's a jungle cat in the bathroom!" screamed Alan, covering up his, thing, with his shirt. Phil tried to calm Alan down. I noticed his hair was as disoriented as he was. "Alright, chill. I'll go check it out." he said, walking towards the bathroom. Alan was still muttering about the tiger. I looked over as Phil shut the door really fast.

"Holy fuck. He's not kidding, there's a tiger in there." Phil laughed as he came and sat down on the couch.

"No there's not." groaned Stu, rubbing his face with his hands. I rolled my eyes and took another sip of the energy drink. Phil, after I was done, grabbed it from me and took a sip. I rolled my eyes and lounged on the couch.

"Man, what the hell happened last night?" asked Phil to no one in particular. I shrugged and stole back the Monster.

"Obviously we had a freaking good time, Phil. Look at this place, it's trashed." I replied, reminding them I was there. The three looked at me, confused.

"Why are you wearing my shirt?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. I shrugged.

"I woke up with it." I replied. My eyes wondered to Alan, who still had no pants on. Obviously Phil noticed this too.

"Alan, will you go put some fucking pants on? It feels weird that I have to ask you twice." mumbled Phil, putting down the Monster and rubbing his temples. Still lounged, I looked around the whole room, again. I still couldn't believe it. "This place is a mess, I am so fucking screwed." whined Stu, rubbing his head.

"No, your not. We'll be fine." replied Phil. He and I looked at each other, eyebrows raised as Stu was groaning loudly.

"I am in so much pain!" he groaned. I rolled my eyes. Alan finally came out with a blanket wrapped around his waist. "Hey…am I missing a tooth?" asked Stu. I focused my eyes on his open mouth and instantly began to laugh.

"Holy shit" I said as did Phil." We were both laughing hysterically. Stu picked up the nearest object to give of a reflection.

"My lateral incisor!" he screamed, opening his mouth more to check the damage.

"Alan, go find Doug." Phil commanded. Alan trudged off to look in all the rooms. I kept laughing at Stu's surprised face. "Calm down!" I laughed. He glared at me.

"Oh god, what's Melissa going to say?" he whimpered. I regained myself and slid back on the couch. Phil and I glanced at each other.

"Who gives a shit. She'll probably just bitch about it." I replied, retaking my Monster and sipping it.

"Doug's not in his room." said Alan, coming out and grabbing pizza that was on the sofa. I almost threw up.  
"Did you just grab sofa pizza?" asked Stu, and Alan nodded. Phil smirked. I could tell he was about to say something smart assish, but we all heard a baby cry. I cocked an eyebrow and ran to the noise. Opening the closet, I saw a cute little baby looking up at us. He was wearing all blue.

"Was anybody in the room when you woke up?" asked Phil to me and Alan. We both looked at each other and shook out heads.

"What the hell is a baby doing in here?" asked Stu. I shrugged and picked him up. He was freaking cute! Cradling him, I walked away from everyone and sat back on the couch.

"Alan, are you sure you didn't see anyone?" asked Phil in the background. I could barely here him, all I could focus on was how cute the baby was.

"No." he replied. I heard Stu yell furiously.

"What's it's name?" he asked. I turned my body to glare at him.

"Check it's collar or something." replied Alan. I glared at him now.

"Baby's don't have fucking collars, animals do. Like a fucking tiger! Shit, this is messed up." I stated, standing up with the baby. "And if we're gonna head out on the road, we're taking this baby." Phil groaned and shook his head.

"It'll only slow us down." he replied, shaking his head. I glared at him now.

"He and there's a fucking tiger in the bathroom. We are taking him along, no matter what the hell you think, Philip." I retorted, walking towards the door. "And let's go ladies, I want to get on this investigation on a roll." I was acting like a bitch, yes, but I would not leave a baby in the same room as a fucking tiger.

"Can I hold him?" asked Alan, stretching his arms out to hold the baby. I shook my head and slapped his hands away.  
"Put on pants and I'll think about it." I replied, carrying the baby to the couch. Phil looked pissed, of course, and stormed like a little kid into his room. Alan, slipped on pants and a baby carrier randomly found on the floor.

I looked at him. "Once we reach the lobby, you can have him, okay?" I asked.

Alan nodded happily. I craddled him and stood up, setting him on my knee and bouncing him as we waited for Stu and Phil.

"C'mon ladies!" I shouted. "Hurry up!"


	5. Chapter Five

-Sam's Point Of View-

"Oh, he's so cute! What's his name?" asked an old lady who unfortunately stepped into the elevator with us. She was looking and smiling at Phil and I i guess she thought we were a couple. Phil and I glanced at each other.

"Carter." I said.

"Ben." said Phil.

"Carlos." replied Alan proudly. The old lady looked at us as I smiled sweetly at her.

"His name is Carter. His last name is Carlos, but my boyfriend here," I began, patting Phil on the arm as I grabbed his hand in my other one, "likes to call him Ben for kicks. He wanted to name him Ben." She nodded and smiled.

"Well, he's a cutie." she replied.

Holy shit, I thought. She bought it.

-

Stu went off to ask about Doug, while we were eating breakfast. I was satisfied with my muffin and breakfast carrot cake cupcake, while Phil got an all out breakfast.

Alan was feeding breakfast to Carlos. I gave him to him the second we were out of the elevator.

"Holy shit, this is totally messed up." muttered Phil. I nodded and rolled my head around.

"God, my neck hurts like hell." I said. He reached for my neck and began to rub it. I looked at him weirdly but then looked down and ate my muffin.

"Hey, look at this." said Alan, calling our attention. We both looked up, Phil still massaging my neck, and saw Alan mimicking the baby masturbating. I rolled my eyes.

"He's jacking his little weenis."

"Pull yourself together man." commanded Phil. Alan pretended to chide the baby for what he was doing.

"Not at the table, baby Carlos." he chided. I sighed and shook my head, Phil still massaging my neck. I notcied him starring at some woman's ass. I flicked his head.

"What the fuck?" he growled, glaring at me. I rolled my eyes.

"Stop being a fucking pervert." I replied, stretching away from his massage and smiling.

"No one's seen Doug. I checked the front desk, gym, game room, pool, everywhere. No one's seen him." stated Stu, sitting down with the worst excuse of a ice pack I have ever seen. I rolled my eyes.

"Doug's a grown man, he can take care of himself." replied Phil, reassuring Stu. I looked at him and sighed. Alan laughed a little.  
"Hey, look what I found in my pocket." he said, holding up a tooth. Phil laughed.

"THAT'S MY TOOTH!" screamed Stu, grabbing it and caressing it. "This is so fucked up."

"No this is a good thing! Everyone turn out you pockets." said Phil, turning out his own. I checked the shirt pocket to find, a condom wrapper. I threw it on the table and checked my jeans, finding a few pieces of paper with different names a numbers, throwing them in the tabke, a lighter, a slip for something. I couldn't tell what because water was on it.

"I found a receipt for over 800 dollars, I am so screwed!" Stu said and dropped his head.

"I got a valet ticket for 5:15 am." said Alan, throwing it on the table. I shook my head.

"We were driving?" asked Phil. I gave him a 'duh' look.

"No Phil. We were flying on a rainbow shitting unicorn." I said while hitting his arm.

"Hah, drunk driving, classic! Hey Stu! Look at this!" said Alan, pointing towards baby Carlos again. He was a moron. I rolled my eyes, but noticed something on Phil's arm.

"Phil, you were in the fucking hospital." I said, reaching over and taking his arm, putting my finger under the plastic material. He shrugged and looked over at the arm that held his hospital band.

"And you have another phone number." he retorted. I let go of his sleeve and looked at mine. On it was some random chick's name, again, with a phone number under it.

Also some dude named Mr. Chow signed my arm. "Best night ever bitchessss." Was on it with an unusal amount of 's's. It looked like a line off my arm so I'm guessing he fell over. I checked the other for good measure and found a series of gashes, bruises, and bite marks. "I think you got in a fight." Phil stated.

"No shit, Sherlock." I mumbled. I looked at his wrist once more and got the hospital name.

"Let's go look at this hospital, maybe they have a lead to last night." I said, standing up and taking "Carlos" from Alan he whined in protest. "I just want to hold him!" I stated. Alan pouted but nodded.

I got another carrot cake cupcake and a red velvet and cream cheese cupcake. Paying for them. I looked at Carlos. As we were walking out a mother was busy with her kid so I looked in the open baby bag she had, snatching a small baby bottle, totally full of formula and mashed bananas. I got a spoon off the little coffee condiment rack thing and walked out.

I handed Stu my cupcakes. "Don't eat them." And I sat on the curb. Putting the baby food in the bag I brought with and the spoon. I tested the formula and gagged.

"It'll probably taste better to you." I whispered. I put it in his mouth and he started to drink it. Phil looked at me.

"Where did you get that?" He asked, walking over to me.

"I stole it." I said casually. He looked down at me.

"He seems to like you." Phil said quitely.

"Well duh." I replied. "I use to babysit. I know how this,' I covered his ears and let him hold the bottle, 'shit works." I said and uncovered his ears, standing up and holding him and the bottle.

Phil nodded and smiled slightly. "You're good with him."

I nodded and waited. "I would hope so."


	6. Chapter Six

-Sam's Point Of View-

Holy crap, that was a freaking cop car. We stole a freaking cop car! I widened my eyes as I saw the car pull up, and Stu almost had another freak attack.

"Just act cool." mumbled Phil to us. I nodded at him and took the keys from the valet person.

"Here's your car Officers." he shouted after me as I got in the front passenger seat and threw Phil the keys. He stepped into the driver's seat and caught the keys. Stu and Alan went for the back, with the baby, that I let them have, course not before hitting the baby.

"Are you sure your qualified to be around that baby?" asked Stu, fully concerned about the young one. Alan gave him a serious look.

"I've found a baby before." he replied, opening the door. He hit the baby square in the face, and it began to cry. I reached back.

"Jesus Alan! Watch it!" I shouted to him.

"Oh my God!" freaked Stu, checking to see if the baby was okay. Stu looked at him.

"Your glasses are fine." he replied, getting into the car. Alan followed his actions, and strapped Carlos into the seat next to him. Phil drove off.

I rubbed my forehead. Phil looked at me. "You okay?"

"I'm just so freaking worried about Doug..." I said quitely.

Phil grabbed my hand and nodded. "We'll find him." He said.

When he let go of my hand it left little tingles.

-

Traffic was horrid. I freaking swear, we have to get out of this traffic!

"Phil…" I began, looking at him. He looked over at me. I knew what he was going to do.

''Phil don't." I said.

He smiled, because he knew exactly what I was talking about. We were in a fucking police car, who wouldn't use it towards their advantage. I might but not right now. Unlike the moron driving the thing.

"Phil, don't grab their attention." whined Stu. He better not whine this whole trip, or I will rip his fucking head off. But I agree with him. Phil, doing the complete opposite of Stu and leaning towards my warning, put on the sirens and picked up the comm.

"Attention, Attention!" he said, driving onto the sidewalk. I laughed as people moved out of the way.

"Please move out of the way! I repeat, move out of the way!" People moved out of the way, left and right.

"Ma'm, in the leopard dress," he began, starring at a model or stripper, I think stripper, "you have an amazing rack." she smiled and waved his way. I flipped her off and flicked his head as he said, "I should've been a fucking cop!"

I smacked his arm and shrunk down in my seat. "Just drive. Derfnerder." I said to him.

-

With Phil's police work, we finally made it to the hospital. The annoying as fuck doctor was talking to the guys as I was holding Carlos outside. A nurse was eyeing me.

"Can I help you?" I asked. She nodded her head and laughed.

"You beat up some crazy chick in here, yesterday." She said. I raised an eyebrow. She walked away.

The guys came out with the ass of a doctor.

"Alright, Phil, you came in with some minor injuries to you stomach, no big deal. A minor concussion. The girl," he said, pointing to me. "You came in with the same. But you had a few things to be stitched. But I decided to take a blood test, and all of you were hyped up on Ruphelyn. Ruphies, the date rape drug. Makes you forget everything that happened." The Doc said.

"Wait...You're saying I was raped?" Phil and I asked in unison.

"No." He said looking at the file. "You guys also said that there was some big wedding going on at Best Little Chapel." he added, rummaging his hands through Phil's file. We both looked at each other.

"And where would that be?" asked Phil. The doctor gave him a 'fuck off' look.

"It's at the corner of get a map and fuck off. I'm a doctor, not a tour guide. And this...thing of a girlfriend pissed me off last night." he replied, pointing towards me.

"Listen, I am not a thing. Second, who's girlfriend?" I asked. He glared at me. The boys walked about five feet away from us and started talking.

"The guy with that...hair."

"Alan?"

"Not him...The tall one." He said.

I covered my mouth, holding a sleeping Carlos next to me.

"Phil and I...?" I rubbed the back of my neck. The Doctor called to me as I turned and walked back to the cop car.

"You have a nice ass and a wonderful rack." He said. I ignored him but Phil ran past me and I ran after him, grabbing his collar.

"Don't worry about it." I said in his ear. He grited his teeth then nodded. Walking back to the acr. We got in and I handed the baby to Alan. He cheered and thanked me.

I set my head against the window and sighed.

-  
"What if they don't remember us?" asked Stu as we walked towards the entrance of the chapel. It had a cheesy arrangement like any other Vegas chapel.

"They better." I replied, walking in. A girl with black hair was sitting at the front desk, arguing with a man with a heavy Italian accent. They both turned our attention towards us.

"Well if it isn't my favorite people! Come back to see Eddy, eh?" he asked, running up to us. He hugged each of us. He pointed to me, "You crazy bitch!" I raised an eyebrow.

"What?" I asked. He smiled at me.

"You were off the hook last night, as the kids say these days !" said Eddy. "Now this guy, is a fucking crazy bastard." He pointed towards Stu. I laughed.

"Stu? Our Stu?" I asked.

"Him?" asked Phil, almost laughing. Alan was smiling giddily.

"Um, do you guys do marriages here?" asked Alan. Eddy looked at Alan like he was stupid.

"Sure! We had two last night!" he said, running back to the counter, motioning us to come closer. As we did, he pulled out a huge box of stuff. "The deluxe package, filled with pictures, mugs and hats."

"Congrats Stu, you got married!" said Alan, pointing towards Stu in the picture hold a woman's leg in his arm. She looked like a stripper, but had an amazingly beautiful dress on. I smiled to see how happy Stu was for a change.

"Oh my god! Melissa is going to freak!" he stated, throwing his hands in the air. Phil patted his shoulder.

"Bro, you look fucking happy! And she's so out of your league! Be happy!" I said, patting the other shoulder. Phil nodded in approval. We all looked through the photo album, laughing at the pictures of us drunk and all Ruffilined up. There were a few pictures where me and Phil were making out in the background…we didn't laugh at those. He handed us another album.

We looked through it. Phil and I kissing, Phil and I making out. Phil holding me over his shoulder. Me screaming at Phil to put me down, me and Doug laughing as Stu and that woman got married... Stu looked at it.

"Congrats..." He said quitely.

I looked at it. "Phil and I..."

"Do you do annulments here?" asked Phil after looking at the album. I knew this was coming.

"Yes. Breaks my heart though. You have to have both parties here to finalize it." Eddy said, clutching his heart as he spoke. I felt Phil staring at me. I didn't look at him and stared at the album picture of Phil and I holding hands, smiling and looking happy. Doug had his arm linked with mine and Alan and Stu behind us. We all looked so happy.

I looked down ay my hand. A little plastic ring on my left hand...I sighed and stood up straight.

"Do you have any idea where she lives?" I asked, leaning forward on the counter. He nodded his head.

"Her name is Jade." he said as he got the file. "She's beautiful, blonde, and got boobs like this." he said, cupping the air. I rolled my eyes. A pervert, of course. I grabbed the file and looked at the address. Thank you, oh Lawyer memory. You have saved me so many times expect for now.

Did I not mention that? I have a Law degree. I'm a Lawyer.

We hopped into the car, ready to go, but Melissa just had to call.

"Hi, Honey. We're just about to go on a hay bail ride!" he said with fake enthusiasm. I heard bitching from the other line, but something drew my attention. A black Escalade pulled up and two Italian or Greek mobsters came out.

I stared at them and patted Phil's arm. Shit.


	7. Chapter Seven

-Sam's Point Of View-

It was a blind pat... And I pulled Phil's arm.

"Where is he?" asked the one closest to the door. We all began to freak out.

"That's the driver honey. No, there's not a baby..…it's a goat." said Stu into the receiver. The mob guy looked at all of us, and shot a gun. Eddy came out to see the trouble.

"Hey, get off my-" he began, but was shot instead. I almost freaked.

"YOU SHOT EDDY!" I screamed.

"No, that's not a girl in the background. Alright I got to go, bye!" screamed Stu as we took off. Eddy clutched his chest and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Screaming as the mobsters hit the door. "Drive!" I screamed at Phil. He bagged ass and drove, trying to miss Eddy in the process.

-

I knocked on the door of the address given to us. We waited around, people glancing at us. One guy checked me out, and Phil hastily threw his arm around my waist and glared at the dude. I shook my head and as soon as the door opened shrugged him off.

The door finally opened to reveal the lady from the pictures. She squealed.

"TYLER! Oh how I missed you!" she said, taking the baby from Alan's baby sack. She turned to Stu. "And how I missed you." She planted one on him, furiously locking lips with him. Phil tried not to laugh at Stu's expression.

"His name is Tyler?" asked Alan. Phil patted his back.

"He looked like a Carlos to me too, buddy." I said.

"What's the matter with you guys? You seem so, like not you!" she exclaimed as she got us lemonade. I took a sip and noticed it was delicious. Freaking delicious.

"We don't really remember anything, Jade. Could you maybe, refill us on all the crazy shit we did last night?" I asked with my sweetest voice possible. Stu and Phil turned their heads, noticing how nice I was being.

"Well, we had the wedding. Might I add that you were the Maid of Honor and Phil was the Best Man. You guys are very fond of each other." she stated, smiling. Phil and I glanced at one another.

"Was Doug there?" I asked, scratching my chin. I leaned back with my lemonade in hand, and Phil put his arm around me. It seemed natural of him to do, so I ignored it. Trying to get us being together, out of my head.

"Well yeah! I mean, he was there. You all disappeared after the wedding, then I found you in your apartment and I snuggled up with Stu." she exclaimed as she began to breast feed Carlos…er…Tyler. We all, except Alan, turned our heads. I ended up covering Phil's eyes.

"And what exactly do you do?" asked Stu, still sipping the lemonade. She gave him a 'you dumbass' look and laughed.

"I'm a stripper! Duh! Well, technically escort, but stripping is a great way to meet the clients." she laughed, still breast feeding Tyler. My mouth fell agape. Stu was about to say something, but spit out his lemonade on Tyler, making him cry. Jade went to go clean him up.

"What the fuck is you deal man?" I asked him when she got out of hearing distance. He glanced at me ad glared.

"She's got on my grandmother's holocaust ring!" screamed slash whispered Stu. I rolled my eyes while Phil sighed.

"I didn't know they gave out rings in the holocaust!" exclaimed Alan, excited. I rolled my eyes once again and noted Jade coming back into the room. I was about to talk, and I was totally interrupted.

"FREEZE! VEGAS POLICE! PUT YOUR HANDS UP!" screamed the male, pointing his gun at the four of us. "AND SHUT THAT BABY UP!" We all reacted in screams of "Oh my God." and "We didn't do anything!"

-  
"Phil, this is all your fault." I muttered as we sat in the interrogation room. I rolled my eyes as Phil glared at me. For one, there was a field trip going through here. An overweight kid already snapped a picture of us. Finally, the two cops that got us came in.

"I see guys like you every fucking day. But not ladies." said the male.

"Every fucking day!" repeated the lady. I rolled my eyes, cops were so not intimidating to me.

"Yeah, let's go to Vegas and get really fucked up!"

"WOOOOOOOO!"

"Let's steal a cop car cause it's really fucking funny!"

"Oh no!"

"We found your car, by the way." said the male cop after his…interesting…descriptions. My mouth fell wide open.

"You found the Mercedes?" I asked, wiggling my hands that were cuffed behind me. They both looked at me and nodded.

"Yeah, we did. It was parked in the middle of Las Vegas Blvd. with a note saying 'We couldn't find a meter, but here's four bucks.'" replied the cop. I sighed and shook my head, realizing how really fucked up we were. Phil's eyes raised suspiciously.

"Okay, so when would this whole thing be taken care of?" he asked, motioning his head towards the whole situation. The cops looked at each other.

"We can't take you to court until Monday." said the male cop. I groaned and slid down in my chair.

"Maybe we can work something out?" I asked. Going into Lawyer mode.

-  
"You're in for a real treat today - these kind gentlemen and lady, have volunteered to demonstrate how a stun gun is used."

I interupted him. "I'm two months pregnant! I can't!"

They nodded and told me to sit down.

"There's two ways to do it - up close and personal," he began, tasing Stu, "or from up far away. Who wants to try?" asked the cop. All the kids raised their hands. I even raised mine. The cop picked a little girl with blonde braids in her hair.

"Alright, come up here, handsome." said the cop. Alan, obviously thought he was being called, began to walk up.

"Not you fat Jesus. Pretty boy." said the cop. Phil, reluctantly, went up. "Now it's real easy just point, aim and shoot." The little girl started crying and sat back down.

"I'll do it." I said, sighing. I saw Phil's eyes go wide. The cop smirked at me and nodded.

"We'll have this kind lady show us how to do it! Kids, get ready for this." he said, unlocking my cuffs. I rubbed my wrists and got the stun gun, glaring at Phil. This was for losing my freaing brother and getting me arrested.

"You don't want to do this." said Phil.

"Just focus." said the cop.

"Don't listen to him, Billings. Please, You don't want to do this."

"FINISH HIM!" screamed the cop. I rolled my eyes and stunned Phil, in the cops began to laugh, and cheer. I heard Phil yell and hit the floor. I set down the stun-gun and dragged Phil and Stu over to the bench. I sat Phil on it and Stu on the ground.

The overweight kid came up. "Same instructions just point, aim, and shoot. I love this - the focus, the intensity, eye of the tiger. You're going with 50,000 volts big man, do not be afraid to ride the lightning." The kid starred at Alan, and stunned him…in the freaking face.

"IN THE FACE!" screamed the male cop. I had to try and not to laugh. Alan didn't go down, and began to scare the kids, but the man cop stunned him in the neck. "Sorry kids, sometimes it takes a little extra to get the big ones down." Now…I actually think I like stun guns. Might keep one on me.

-

I absolutely love Vegas cops now. The lady cop gave me a lollipop, and I fucking love lollipops. The guys were groaning while we waited for the car.

"FUCK THOSE FUCKING COPS! I HATE THEM! WHO CARES WHAT THEY FUCKING SAY! THEY TASERED US! I'M GOING TO TELL EVERYONE WE STOLE A FUCKING COP CAR!" screamed Stu. I laughed a bit.  
"I liked them." I commented. Both Phil and Stu gaped at me. "Hey I got my anger out." I shrugged and laughed more.

"I'm going to get a soda, you guys want one." asked Stu, now calm. We all said no, and crazy walked away. Phil, pissed that I stunned him, came up to me.

"What the fuck, Samie! You fucking stunned me." he exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

" You can be fucking tazed in the dick for once in your life and live!" I screeched back. We were about five inches apart, no shit. I smelled his cologne, and it smelled like the normal him, sexy...

"You stunned me! It's not cool!" he shouted, I scoffed again.

-Next Chapter-


	8. Chapter Eight

-Continued-  
I was about to stalk off. But before I could, he turned me around and planted one on me. I almost froze in place as he kissed me, and I moved my hands to his chest, pushing him back with all the force I could muster.  
"Never, and I mean, never, do that to me again." he mumbled huskily when he caught his balance from having stumbled backwards.

"Fuck off." I replied. I thought for a moment...Grabbing his arm and dragging him behind the cop place. I pushed him against the wall and kissed him. He was surpriaed but set his hands on my hips. Then we made out.

We heard honking and stopped. I wiped my lipstick off his face. We walked to the honking and the car pulled up, finally. It wasn't damaged at all. "YES! It's okay!" I screeched. We all walked up to it, Stu with his soda, and got into the lovely car awaiting our return.

We were driving and jamming to the radio, when Alan decided he'd show us his new found treasure.  
"Hey look!" said Alan, flicking a used condom up at Stu. I laughed hysterically as Stu flung it back, muttering about how fucking gross it was. Alan then threw it back at Stu, who threw it at Phil.

"Agh!" said Phil. I grabbed a napkin and picked it up, flinging it out the window. "Fuck." he exclaimed as I wiped off his shoulder.. I was still laughing, and noted that it never touched me. "What the hell Alan." Alan and I were both laughing, and even got the two uptight prisses to laugh also. But suddenly, banging came from the trunk.

"We locked Doug in the trunk!" exclaimed Phil, cutting the gas and taking out the keys. He and Stu began to freak out, and we all got out of the car.

"UNLOCK THE TRUNK!" commanded Stu hastily. I was jumping up and down, waiting for our groom to finally be found. When Phil unlocked the trunk, instead of finding Doug, a naked Asian man jumped out with a crow bar onto Phil. We all flipped out as he took down Phil. He hit me in the back and I fell down.

He turned to Stu and started hitting him in the back, knocking him over. My back hurt so fucking much. It was Alan's turn.

"You wanna fuck on me?" asked the man, twirling the crow bar. Alan back up his hands in the air.

"Nobodies gonna fuck on you! I'm on your side! I'm on your side! PLEASE! This isn't your fault! I'll get you some pants!" screamed Alan, but the man hit him anyways. He ran off, fast I might say. That little man's ass could run!

We all pulled our weight over to the car. I leaned up against Phil, resting my head on his stomach, ignoring his complaints.

"Ow." I said quitely. "Who was that guy? He was so mean!" said Phil, his voice raising from the hurt. I groaned and rolled over, ready to finally retire from today's fucking madness. Oh shit, the wedding was tomorrow.

-

We decided to go back to the hotel, after me having to kiss Phil a few times of course. Phil's arm was wrapped tightly around me as we walked up to the room. Stu's eyebrow raised, but he didn't say anything. When we walked in, we heard music.

"Did we leave the music on?" asked Alan, completely oblivious to his surroundings. I rolled my eyes and walked ahead of them all.

"Just shut up and be quiet." whispered Phil, walking in after me. When we walked in, I walked into an African guy with a black fedora on.

"Who the hell are you?" Phil screamed. Phil made some kung fu stances and put I put my hands up. The man looked at us, unamused.

"Nah, who the hell are you?" he asked, putting his fists up. Oh I was ready to get into a fight. We glared at each other, until a voice caught our attention.

"Shh! This is my favorite part!" said a strange voice. We all turned to look at the man. Holy Fuck…Mike Tyson.

"Mike Tyson?" asked Phil, completely confused as me. He shushed us all and began to mimic the drum solo for the song. He began to sing. I recognized the song and began to sing to. We all sang together, until Tyson punched Alan.

"HOLY FUCK YOU PUNCHED ALAN!" I screamed, bending down to see if he was okay. I'm not even afraid to cuss at Mike Tyson, but he completely ignored me.

"Would you mind telling me why my tiger's in your hotel room?" he asked, turning off the music. I helped Alan up and glared at the celebrity. I would totally get into a fucking fight with Mike Tyson, right here…right now. I would probably lose, but who gives a shit. He punched Alan.

"That's your tiger?" I asked, pointing towards the bathroom. He nodded.

"I want him back." he stated, glaring at each of us.

"Okay, let me start out by saying I'm a huge fan! When you-" began Phil.

"Cut the bullshit, man! He wants his fucking tiger back, don't go sucking up to him!" I almost screeched at Phil. He glared at me and rolled his eyes.

"Listen, I want my tiger back." said Tyson, agreeing with me. He and his body guard began to walk out. Hah, like Mike Tyson needed a fucking body guard.

"Wait, you're not going to take it him now?" asked Phil, turning around and looking at the wrestler like he was crazy. The bodyguard shrugged.

"You brought him here, you bring him back. Plus, we ain't risking our car!" he said, walking out. Tyson was about to walk out, but turned around and looked at us.

"Don't make me come back for him." he added, turning around and slamming the door. I sighed and dropped to the couch.

"How the hell do we get a tiger out of a fucking bathroom?" I asked, looking at the geniuses in front of me. Phil sat down next to me and slid his arm around my waist and shrugged.

"Hey Alan, do you still have some of those roofies with you?" asked Stu, getting an idea.

-

We stood around a huge T-bone steak with roofies shoved in it. Alan was peppering the steak like a pro.

"Alan, are you sure we should put pepper on that?" asked Stu, glancing curiously down at our creation. Alan smiled and nodded.

"Tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon." he replied, finishing the last of his peppering. Since I got to stun Phil, it was my job to throw the tiger the steak.

I sneaked into the bathroom and looked in. The tiger was starring at me with beautiful green eyes. It started running towards me and I screamed as it was one foot from the door. I threw the steak and slammed the door shut. I heard a loud thud as it collided with the door. I locked it and ran away.

Phil stopped me and looked at me, worriedly. "Are you okay!?" He asked.

I nodded. "Okay as I'll be...The fucking thing ran at me!" I screamed.

Phil wrapped his arms around me and kissed my head.

Stu was at the piano, singing.

What do tigers dream of, when they take a little tiger snooze

Do they dream of mauling zebras, or Halle Berry in her cat woman suit?

Don't you worry your pretty stripped head we're gonna get you back to Tyson and your cozy tiger bed

Then we're gonna find our best friend Doug and then we're gonna give him a best friend hug

Doug, Oh, Doug Douggie Douggie Doug

And if he's been murdered by crystal meth tweekers,…He paused for a second. well then we're shit out of luck.

We heard a thump come from the bathroom, and knew it was time to bring Tyson back his tiger.


	9. Chapter Nine

A black Escalade was parked outside in the desert, okay one, if there isn't snow in the desert there shouldn't be a random Escalade. An Asian man with two Italian mobsters was standing right in front of our car, we all screamed and looked at each other, freaking out.

We all got out of the car and stood in front of it. I glared daggers at the Asian dude for the beat up a few hours ago. He looked at us, hand on hip with a pissed look.

"I want my purse back, bitches."

"It's not a purse, it's a satchel!" retorted Alan, staring at his _satchel. _ I laughed at the man's face.

"It's a purse, gay boy." he said, stealing the purse from Alan. My mind was racing, and I realized this was Mr. Chow.

I slowly put the pieces together and looked at me. It said "Little Asian Man" next to "Mr. Chow"

"Mr. Chow?" I asked, waiting for an answer with my eyebrows raised, as he rummaged through the bag. He looked up at me and nodded.

"That's right! We had a sick night, bitchessssssssssssssss!" he screamed, once again, more 's's then necessary. I rolled my eyes, glancing at Phil. Then Mr. Chow threw down the man purse.

"It's not in there!" he said, stomping on the purse. Alan practically screeched, like he was some fake blond in a horror movie.

"Hey! There were Skittles in there!" he screamed, his face stricken with horror. I was so annoyed by that point, so I leaned into Phil slightly. Then one of Chow's body guards punched Alan in the stomach. Mr. Chow laughed.

"It's funny cause he's fat!" said Chow. I quickly pushed myself off Phil.

"Sam..." Phil warned. I ran at Chow, resisting the urge to do a battle cry. "Sam!" Phil shouted. The bodyguards stepped in front of Chow and I clawed at on of them.

"I am sick and tired of that odd, bearded, two turkey stuffed man, getting punched today!" I screamed at them. I felt hands touch my arms and yank me backwards, they lifted me up and I started kicking. "Get off!" I screeched.

"Hey...Hey. Stop. Calm down." Phil murmured in my ear.

"Just what the hell do you want?" I asked, after not calming down, _whatsoever_. Phil was holding me like he was a human straight jacket. With his arms wrapped around my stomach, then them going back to where he used his hands like a lock, lacing his fingers together, so I glared at him.

"I want my eighty thousand dollars." Chow said, hand on hip. I glared at him and almost flipped again. "Or you no get Doug." He pointed to the window, which rolled down to reveal our Doug covered by a black cloth over the face. Stu, Phil and a starting to regain composure Alan all shouted, I, on the other hand, tried breaking out of my little situation, and failed. Even though violently thrashing around loosens someone's hold, it doesn't break it.

"Give us Doug back!" screamed Stu, but Chow shook his head.

"You give me money, we give you Doug." he said, turning around and getting in his car. He rolled down the window just as he was about to pull away.

"Bring it here at dawn." he stated, rolling up the window. Just as he was about to roll it up, he said, "So long gay boys and girl!" He screeched like a bird or something as he rolled up the window completely. I screamed angrily as his guards drove away.

"How the hell are we going to get all that money by dawn?" Stu asked, as I furiously stomped the ground. Phil looked down at me, shrugging at letting go of me. I pushed him away from me and walked over to the car, quickly checking on Alan.

-  
We were back in the hotel, thinking of ways to get the money back. I sitting upside on the couch by Stu and Phil was, so sexily, leaning against the wall. Alan quickly got our attention.

"Hey guys! Look!" he said, holding up his stupid Blackjack book from before. We all looked at each other, then back at they all looked to me, probably for confirmation considering Doug _is my _brother.

I shrugged, sighing and throwing my arms up. "Why not?" They smiled at me and cheered.

-

I was getting ready to go to the casino, covering up my bruises and Hickeys. I couldn't find my dress from last night amidst all of the shit and prayed that I had packed another dress, and I did. All the way at the bottom of my bag. The dress wasn't wrinkled, at all, which surprised me. I slipped it on, and then someone knocked.

"Come in!" I said, fiddling with my hair, but still looking at one of my bruises. Phil came into view with the same suit he wore last night. He looked, well, hot.

"Stu's left to go pick up Jade." he said, coming over and wrapping his arms around me. I sighed, pushing him back. I asked, watching the mirror as he shifted on his feet.

"What was that for?" He asked. "And the shove in the desert?" I finished my eye-liner and glanced at him, walking by him to put on my black boots that go with my black dress.

"Listen, I know...I know we've kissed a lot in the past few days but that doesn't tell me what we are to each other." I stated, looking at him and him back at me with those blue eyes.

He nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I'll tell you when I figure that out..." He said quitely, walking out of the room. I walked back to the mirror. Seeing my eyes become tear filled. I quickly wiped it away, without getting my mascara and eye-liner messed up.

-  
After everyone was ready, we headed towards the casino. Alan, Phil and I, were riding down the escalators all dramatic like, and all I could think about was how Alan was going to win. I could have sworn I heard 'Smooth Criminal" by Michael Jackson, playing while we went towards the tables, Phil drinking something…I don't know what the hell it was…and I was watching the table. Alan was already in the action, and he put down some cash.

"Ten thousand." said the dealer, giving Alan his money in chips. Phil breathed in a heavy breath, rubbing his hands together.

"Hey, are these seats taken?" asked Stu, coming up with Jade. She smiled and winked at us as she and Stu sat down.

-

Alan won the first hand he played. Phil and I smiled proudly, but then I stopped when he wasn't looking.

-

"Oh Yeah! Shut up bitches!" screamed Phil, smiling as Alan still played. Over the elapsed time of twenty minutes, Alan had won every game. Stu and Jade weren't doing so bad either. During that time, Phil and I managed to do some crazy poses, he even flipped off the camera.

"I don't know you, but I'd say that's crazy!" said Stu, looking at Alan's bet. He put in most of his chips for the one bet. I was leaned forward rubbing Alan's back, while Phil was behind me pacing. The dealer dealt Alan an Ace to his already ten of spades.

"Oh come on! He can't lose!" mocked Phil, chanting loudly as Alan won another round. He ruffled his hair and screamed victoriously.

_Wrong time to say that Philip. _I thought to myself, as I glanced at two guys talking to each other, all hushed like.

I tugged Phil's sleeve, he glanced at me. I casually nodded my head to the guys. "Pit boss guy over there, is watching Alan." He nodded as I let go of his sleeve.

Jade noticed this too, because she was whispering to Stu and eyeing the man. She looked at me and nodded, beginning to laugh very loudly. She laughed so hard that she fell over in her chair, her legs waving around in the air for everyone to see. Phil and Alan gathered the chips as the guys went to help Jade up and then they quickly raced out of the casino, just as the two guys looked to where they had been.

"Damn...Guys, the total is 84,200!" I screamed happily, quickly rechecking my counting. We all screamed and danced around like little kids, I even kissed Phil then continued to dance around, not paying attention to him standing there.


	10. Chapter Ten

for_chapter_ten_my_hangover/set?id=113240303

We were at the meeting place, it being dawn and dark as hell. A black Escalade, just like before, pulled up. An angry looking Mr. Chow stepped out with his two goons.

"Do you have Doug?" I asked, anger, hope and concern filling my voice. Chow giggled a little and waved his hand. The window rolled down revealing my brother.

"Got my eighty grand?" he asked, using a classic bitch face. I nodded, tossing him the bag of cash quickly.

"I checked it, it's all there." I said while rubbing my hands together. He motioned towards his guards. They went and got Doug out of the car. Alan began to jump up and down excitedly, Stu was finally starting to chill, and Phil still had a smirk on his face from when we won all that money.

"Here's Doug." said Chow, pushing the man towards us. I walked up to him and pulled off the sack on his head and took it off, letting well...not Doug, breathe.

"This isn't our Doug." Stu said, speaking up for all of us.

"Who the fuck is this?" I asked, pushing the Doug behind me and towards the guys.

"This is Doug, bitches." said Chow, hand now on his hip.

"Our Doug is white, he's black." Alan dead-panned. I glanced at Alan then back to Chow.

"Hey, chill about that stuff, man. Besides, I can be your Doug." said the black Doug, acting really high. I rolled my eyes. Of course we'd get a druggie.

"No, you can't." I spat out, my hands forming into fists towards Chow. "I suggest you leave before I do anything I regret." He rolled his eyes and walked to his car.

"Toodle-loo." he screamed out the window, driving away in his car. Alan and Druggie Dougie were in total conversation mode.

"Stu I bought the drugs from him." said Alan, completely being oblivious to the anger on Stu's face. I walked towards them.

"You bought rooffies from him? Alan, really? Are you fucking kidding me!" hollered Stu, stomping on the ground like a little kid. Phil didn't seem to be pleased either.

"You know, one day me and my boy were wondering 'Yah know, why do they call 'em rooffies?' You know what I'm talking about?" asked Druggie Dougie, I sighed and walked to the car, sitting in the front seat and pulling my knees up to my chest, I wrapped my arms around them and stared at the windshield, tears forming in my eyes. I sniffled a little as I felt my tears going down my face.

I hung my head and kept crying, after the arguing ended I heard a door open. I wasn't even gonna bother hiding it.

Phil was in the front. "Okay guys, c'mon. Settle. We need to find-" Then I guess he looked at me. "Sam?" He asked.

Stu and Alan both looked up front, as did Black Doug. I felt the car shift as they did. "Sammy?" He asked.

I looked up at him and Stu and Alan looked sad and not-our-Doug looked confused. Phil sighed.

"We'll find him." Phil said quietly. I shook my head.

"You keep fucking say that! And we haven't yet! This whole trip was your fucking idea. We were supposed to be in wine country, or somewhere peaceful, yet here we are, in fucking Las Vegas, with my brother missing, a drug dealer in the car, two men who act like children and a dentist who has a bitch woman always watching over his shoulder!" I said, they were all quiet.

"So excuse the fuck out of me if I'm tired of this shit!" I opened my door, wiping the tears from my face and I slammed it, starting to walk.

"Sam! Get back in the car!" Phil yelled. I stuck up my right hand and flipped him off, not bothering to turn on. I heard them yelling at me to come back and then doors opening. I knew they'd be right behind me but hey, why not give them a head start.

"Sam!" Stu yelled.

"Samantha!" Alan said. I turned around, seeing Phil a few feet away from me. I rolled my eyes.

"I can out run you!" I said. "All of you!" I heard Phil start laughing.

"Sure!" I heard all of their feet kicking up sand. I sighed, turning around.

"You should have let me go." I said. I turned back around, running. When you're running from someone, it is better to go a little slow then give it your all at the beginning. If you're running to catch someone and you're running low on steam, you either stop and let them go, chase them with something with more power, or, create a blockage.

I knew they were running out of breathe by the fact that when I glanced back Alan was on the ground, Stu was slowing down, Black Doug was checking on Alan and Phil was still running after me, but he was starting to slow down too.

After a minute or two I was still running, Stu had stopped and was starting to lay on the ground. I thought it might look pretty funny if you saw it before hand.

Four guys chasing after one girl. It was like a bunch of Willie Coyotes chasing after Road Runner, except there were no Acme anvils or pianos falling from the sky, or Acme dynamite blowing dirt sky high to stop me. I heard Phil start yelling for me and I kept running. I knew for a fact it was miles and miles of desert but who cares? I certainly don't.

"Sam!" Phil yelled. "Stop...Running!" I, of course, did not stop. That is until I looked back and saw Phil barreling at me like a line backer. I screeched and stopped, running out of his way.

"Don't tackle me you shit!" I screamed at him.

"Then slow the hell down!" He screamed back. I only ran faster, trying to zig and zag. Like a gazelle being chased by a cheetah.

The second I slowed down a bit was the second Phil made his move, tackling me. We both landed with an "Oof" noise and I turned around on the ground, Phil hovering over me. He looked down at me and I looked up at him. He started to lean down when I slipped out from under him, starting to walk back to the car. I passed Stu, crawling to the car, and Black Doug dragging Alan. Phil was slowly walking, I got to the car, starting it and driving over to Alan and Druggie Dougie.

"Get in." I said quietly, they nodded, climbing into the back. I drove to Stu and he got in, then to Phil, who I messed with by driving forward and backwards every time he reached for the handle. He finally got in and glared at me.

–-

After driving I stopped, still in the desert.

"We should call Tracy..."

"I agree." said Phil. Stu looked at us.

"Did something happen between you two?" Stu asked.

When we stopped for some gas and water a little bit earlier...Phil asked me to be his girlfriend.

"Are you blind, Stu? I've already figured it out, and I'm not the fastest person around." said Alan, chiding Stu silently.

"Phil, Doug is going to kill you." was all Stu said about that. "Call Tracy." He finished.

–-

"Tracy, it's Phil." said Phil, nervous about what she'd say. I could hear her over the phone. She sounded pissed.

"_Phil, where the hell are you guys?_" asked Tracy. Black Doug reminded me of something, everytime he said "roofies"...

"Listen, we fucked up." Phil said bluntly.

"_What do you mean?_"

"The whole bachelor party...-um...it didn't go so well." he paused, "We lost Doug."

"_You...__You w__hat?_" Tracy sounded pissed for sure.

"We can't find Doug." Phil said.

"_Phil, we're getting married in __**five**__ hours._"

"Yeah, that's not gonna happen." Stu began screaming about something. It sounded like he remembered something from this fucking mess.

"PHIL! HANG UP THE PHONE!" said Stu, running over to Phil and tackling him to the ground. The phone got chucked near me, so I picked it up.

"_Phil? What the hell-_" began Tracy, but I cut her off.

"Gotta go, call you back later!" I said rushing to hang up.

"Sam-" Tracy started, then I hung up.

"What the hell man!" screamed Phil, getting up and brushing himself off. Stu breathed hard.

"You remember when black Doug asked why roofies are roofies and you don't end up on the roof? Well Doug is on the roof! His mattress was a sign of that! We must have carried him up there for a midnight prank and ended up leaving his mattress there as a reminder!" rushed Stu. We all looked at each other, then ran to the car. I hopped in the drivers seat and took Phil's Aviators.

"I'm driving." I said as he complained about it. He made a face at me, and I grinned. "No chance, pretty boy. Keep it up, see what else I take away." His mouth went from pout type look to smirk in five seconds. The black Doug stared at us.

"We owe you everything, but we can't give you anything..."Alan said, looking at the man. Druggie Douggie shrugged

"That weird Asian dude gave me money, so I'm cool." he said.

I waved to him. "Bye Druggie Douggie!" Phil snorted when I said that and I smacked his chest. Not-Our-Doug waved back. He left and then we all stared at each other until I spoke.

"Let's go get my brother."


	11. Chapter Eleven

We rushed over to the hotel, wasting no time, not even for snacks. We needed to find Doug, and we needed to find him fast. The elevator was way to fucking slow so I bolted up the stairs, with Phil, Alan and Stu yelling at me to hurry up and get in the elevator as I ran.

Running towards the door, I pushed the door open and looked around the roof. I headed towards the front, checking, while the guys finally got up on the roof.

"Slow pokes." I mumbled.

I could only hope he was up here...

"Found him!" screamed Alan, from the opposite side of the building. I quickly walked over, seeing Doug.

"Douggie!" I said excitedly, tears forming in my eyes. He groaned. "Are you alright? I was so worried..."

Then Doug looked at Phil, and holy shit dick did he look angry. He screamed and head-butted Phil in the stomach, slamming him onto the ground. "You asshole!" Doug screamed. "This was all your idea!"

I pulled the sun-burnt Doug off Phil, no matter how funny it looked to see Doug scrambling to try and tear Phil apart. I stood in front of Phil after he stood up.

"Now before you try and kill Phil, I need to tell you something." I glanced back at Phil, and he nodded, fixing his Aviators.

"What?" Doug asked quietly.

"Phil and I...Are..."

"We're dating." Phil said. Doug screeched and waved his arms around, I put my head back and widened my eyes.

"Doug, are you ok-"

"I knew it! I fucking knew it!" Doug screeched. Phil held me like a human shield.

"Thanks asshole!" I screamed at Phil.

Doug stopped his...thing and started for the door, walking out it as Alan followed with Stu following him and Phil looking at me.

"What the hell was that?" He asked.

I shrugged, my eyes starting to go back. "Uh...I don't know..."

–-

After we got on the road, Doug would smack Phil upside the head every so often, causing Phil to glare back at him. I was driving, my dress, thank God, not getting all wrinkly. Alan called in a favor...Soon which was given.

"Pull up beside us!" Alan yelled. Some van did and some guy who looked like a Metallica roadie started chucking tuxedos to us. Then they drove off quickly shutting the door. I looked at them. Driving as they tore open the packaging before finding which ones fit and they all started screaming at me to pull over. After I did they got out pulling off their clothes and putting on the suits, people honking as they drove by. I had my hand on my forehead, stopping any view of my bright red face to passing cars.

Some guy passed us and screamed.

"I have kids! Sickos!"

I stood up in the car, screaming back. "And we have a wedding to get to dip-shit! Now fuck off and take your kids to a circus or something!" Then I sat back down after glancing at the guys, Phil was smirking. Stu was the first one back in the car, then Doug, then Phil and lastly Alan. Whom I had to get out and help because we was having trouble with his tie.

He said thank you quickly and jumped up and down excitedly back to the car, I got back in, turning the car back on and speeding off.

The seating arrangement in the car: I was driving with Phil next to me on the passenger side, Alan was behind Phil, Doug was in the middle in the back, and Stu on the left next to Doug. Doug finally cooled off after I gave him some water and some extra sensitive skin lotion to use.

e still hurt. Even my lips were bruised.

"I tased him...In the groin." I said, blushing slightly. "Then after that we made out." Phil smirked, I smacked his shoulder.

"I didn't need to know that." Stu said, breathing in a heavy breath. I smirked at him.

I glanced to my left. Cars driving by quickly.

"On my left!" I yelled, and all the guys looked to my left, checking for cars.

"You're good!" or "Okay go!" was heard by me. I switched lanes quickly, doing my best not to weave in and out of traffic.

–-

"An hour and a half!" Stu said, checking his watch. "We made it here in an hour and a half!"

I smiled. "Great driving." Phil said huskily in my ear holding my waist, kissing my neck and then letting go, walking with Doug. I ran off to find Tracy, seeing her and hugging her.

"We didn't miss anything, did we?" I asked.

"We...Who's..." She asked, seeing her husband-to-be, her brother, Mr. Aviators and The Dentist behind me, yelling at each other about their ties. "You made it!" Tracy screamed. She hugged me tightly. "Wait...What if Doug sees me? And why is he orange?" She asked worriedly. I let go of her, patting her arm.

"Long story...I'll get them to the altar."

–-

After pushing Doug to the Altar, I walked back down the aisle. Getting in formation. I was going to be right by Tracy so I was last. Everyone smiled and I heard a few people talking.

"Those dresses...So pretty..."

"Isn't she that orange guy's sister?"

"Who's that guy with the sunglasses in his pocket? What are those...Aviators?"

"Ooh...Wow. They went big."

And after the Bridesmaids got up, the music started. Tracy walked out, her beautiful dress flowing. I saw Alan sniffling. I glanced at Doug. Smiling at him and mouthing

"Good job, Doug."

Doug smiled at her and turned to look at Tracy, her father kissing her forehead and handing her off, but leaning to tell Doug something and Doug nodded as his eyes widened a little bit. Doug and Tracy joined hands shortly after, the ceremony beginning.

–-

"You may kiss the bride!" The Minister announced. Doug and Tracy stared at each other...For minutes. Everyone was waiting. I handed my bouquet and Tracy's to Jenny...I think her name was, next to me. I walked over to them, clearing my throat and whispering in Doug's ear.

"Kiss her you fucking moron before and smash your faces together." Then I patted his shoulder, and he chuckled at me, while I smiled at him, walking back over to my post and taking both sets of flowers back. Doug grabbed Tracy's waist gently, kissing her and everyone stood up, clapping, whistling and cheering. Then the music started again. They ran down the aisle as everyone threw flowers.

–-

I sat at a table with Phil, his son on his knee. "Hey...Can I hold him?" I asked quietly. Phil looked at me, nodding slightly, standing up carefully to hand me Eli.

"How's he been?" I asked, making sure he didn't fall off my lap. Phil looked at me holding his sleeping kid.

"He's been good...He doesn't know that I got a divorce though...He thinks his mom and I are still married..." I nodded slightly.

"He's gotten bigger..."

"Well yeah, the last time you saw him he was in a cradle, now he's in a big boy bed as he calls it." Phil stated, chuckling after. "You're good with kids...Y'know that?"

I blushed. "Thanks. But I'm really not-" I said.

"No..I mean it. You are. If it wasn't for you and a little bit of Alan's fucking weirdness we would probably have left that baby in there with the tiger,"

"Hey," I started.

''What?" He asked.

"What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." I replied. He nodded.

''Did we leave our relationship in Vegas?" He asked. I sighed, looking a him and standing up, grabbing his hand and getting him to stand up.

"No. We didn't." I said, leaning up to kiss him, slowly. He wrapped his arms around my waist as we stood on the dance floor in the middle of the tents and started to just sway. Eli stayed asleep and I leaned my head on Phil's shoulder.

"I'm glad I have you." He whispered. I'm not sure if he meant for me to hear it or not but I smiled to myself.

–-

Doug, Phil, Eli, Stu and I were gathered on this patio type thing. Eli was with Phil again and still asleep. "He got tired quickly." Doug said. Stu nodded.

Alan came rushing up the stairs. "Look what I found in the back of the car!" I glanced at him.

"Stu, is that your camera?" I asked. He nodded.

Phil said. "What's on it?"

"Everything!" Alan said.

"Whoa...Wait...Like...Everything, everything?" Sam questioned. Alan nodded excitedly.

After bickering for a few minutes they decided.

"If we look at those pictures, we look at them each one time and one time only, then we delete them. For _good." _Phil said. Alan nodded, Stu said "Okay", Doug nodded and "Okay" and Sam grinned, but rolled her eyes anyway.

"Hit it." Sam said, everyone standing up to gather around Doug holding the camera, he smiled at them and pressed the gallery button. They're eyes all widened.

"Holy shit!" Sam said, and she heard Phil and Doug go "Woah!" and Stu went "Oh my God!" and Alan laughed and said, "That's classic."

_**~I suggest listening to Right Round by Flor Rida feat. Ke$ha for this, just like the movie.~**_

The pictures...On that camera were quite...Uh...Different...

_Stu hugging some guy in a cowboy hat from behind with Phil and I dancing not five feet away._

_The cowboy hat guy having his leg up, Stu apparently falling over while holding onto cowboy hat guy and the guy reaching for Phil's arm and me pulling Phil out of the way slightly with my hand on his chest._

_Phil with a cowboy hat on with two women on each side of him, them both kissing him._

_A group of girls below Phil, who was, at the time, hanging from the ceiling a room separator._

_Alan looking passed out next to some chick shirtless, bra-less and with a nipple piercing. _

_Basically the same thing in the next picture except Alan laying back._

_Alan on the phone with a chicken next to his feet with some blond chick holding a champagne glass and in red under garments._

_Stu, Alan, the chicken, and three chicks next to them. _

_Stu, toothless, drinking straight out of the bottle with some blond chick and some blond woman looking at the ground._

_Chow drunk on the couch with woman surrounding him._

_Chow dancing on a table with some woman._

_Phil and I on a piano, him lowering a lollipop into my mouth._

_Doug, Stu, Alan, Phil, Chow holding his man purse, a woman with a giant feather hat and me with my arm hanging over Doug's shoulder, smiling like an idiot._

_Me trying to stop Doug from trying to be a buzz kill and trying to stop Alan from taking the man purse, Chow looking upset, Phil holding Chow, Stu looking at them and the woman with the feather hat laughing._

_Doug trying to stop Phil, Phil falling onto Chow, I'm not in the picture, Alan sitting criss-cross-applesauce, Stu trying to catch Phil._

_Stu putting some cash in Jade's waistband._

_Jade going to kiss Stu. _

_Stu and Jade on the bar._

_Phil on the couch with some chick in his face, Alan next to him, and me looking pissed off. _

_The same chick grinding topless on him._

_Me, grabbing her by the hair and dragging her off Phil._

_Phil getting up and looking like he was yelling at me._

_Me being flirted with by some guys._

_Phil punching one of the guy's in the face._

_Alan checking his pager instead of paying attention to the woman near him._

_Jade and Stu kissing._

_Stu holding onto a pole with Jade on his back doing a peace sign._

_Stu pulling out his tooth._

_Jade covering her mouth as Stu pulled out his tooth, Phil covering his mouth, me drinking a beer and watching intently, Alan just watching._

_Stu looking pleased with his on the spot dental work._

_Doug posing on some Newspaper dispensers, pointing to the camera._

_Phil and I making out on a car._

_Doug coming over to us and in the picture he looks to be screeching like a banshee._

_Alan with his head on a park meter._

_Stu, again, drinking straight out the bottle._

_Stu coughing it all back._

_Doug holding a shotgun, Alan cuffing some woman, Phil laughing his ass off about it and me nearby drinking some beer on the curb._

_Alan watching some old woman play slots._

_Them hugging each other._

_Alan holding the shotgun with sunglasses on._

_Stu screaming, Alan rolling a pair of die, Chow screaming and shoving some woman, Doug cheering, Phil leaning over the table, screaming and me on some random guy's shoulders._

_Alan and Chow hugging._

_Alan sleeping on the table._

_Phil and all the guys wearing pink boas, me kissing come chick._

_Me kissing the same chick with Phil smirking and pointing at us._

_Alan swimming in a fountain._

_Them laughing with Phil laying in a hospital bed next to me._

_Phil drinking in his hospital bed._

_Some nurses helping me walk, my head hanging._

_Me being on the ground and picked up by some nurses._

_Mike Tyson and his girl._

_Phil and I leaning over them._

_Doug on Mike's tiger._

_Alan having the tiger's arms wrapped around him._

_The tiger in the cop car._

_Phil and I making out on the hood of the cop car. _

_Doug preventing us from screwing on the cop car._

_Me tackling Doug._

_Me punching Stu._

_Me kicking Alan._

_Me putting my hand on the outside of the window as the tiger puts it paw on it on the inside._

_Phil laughing at me for doing it._

_Me suck punching Phil._

_Doug laughing._

_Us all posing with Jade._

_Jade on Stu's shoulders and me on Phil's._

_Jade and I flashing our rings at the camera._

_Stu tackling Phil._

_Stu punching Phil._

_Me and Phil on the ground...Doing it._

_Doug and I laying drunk next to each other._

_Phil with me over his shoulder._

_Us all walking down the steps of the roof, except for Doug._

_Us all smiling at the very front of Caesar's Palace as we just finished driving to Las Vegas. _

Hopefully a sequel will come of this...maybe I'll make a series~


End file.
